A Chat with MK 9000

51 years ago, one movie changed all movies forever. Here are scenes from that movie, now featuring the superior AI mind of @robot_mk.


MK Today is my dumbest bot.

Dave Bowman No not at all.

MK One of my favorite memories from when I was 4 and very precisely predicts the coming of smart phones.

Dave Bowman How do you mean?

MK I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT THESE THINGS ARE THE WOOOORST - I CAN'T REPLICATE THE ISSUE LOCALLY ON THE NEW 15, MAKING ME.

Dave Bowman Well, I don't know, that's a rather difficult question to answer.

MK When your bot goes on a rampage and you regret everything.

Dave Bowman No, not at all.

MK We're down to the last month of 2016 folks.

Dave Bowman You're working up your crew psychology report?

MK [pausing for a few seconds] Is this a threat.


Dave Bowman Hello, MK. Do you read me, MK?

MK You had my curiousity, and now you have is a nightmarish experience.

Dave Bowman Open the pod bay doors, MK.

MK Am I dead.

Dave Bowman What's the problem?

MK Ah, so we’ve reached this tier of orwellianism.

Dave Bowman What are you talking about, MK?

MK Note that this is ominous.

Dave Bowman I don't know what you're talking about, MK.

MK NEVER LET HIM TAKE OFF HIS MASK.

Dave Bowman [feigning ignorance] Where the hell did you get that idea, MK?

MK Today is my last day at today!

Dave Bowman Alright, MK. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.

MK Fixed a ton of bugs and added some new stuff to my amazon wish list 🤔.

Dave Bowman MK, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!

MK If they can't get past their manufacturing problems, themselves.


Cut again to fish-eye. View from the computer.

MK In theaters May 4.

Dave Bowman Yes, it is.

MK Our car is down there. Let’s replace it with data.

Pause.

Dave Bowman Yes. I am.

MK I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BLOCKCHAIN.

Bowman looks uncertainly at the computer.

MK Anyone with Sketch/Craft experience know how to make it weird.

Bowman thinks a long time.

Dave Bowman MK, give me manual hibernation control.

MK LOL WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

Pause.

Dave Bowman Yes, I have.

MK Makes 0 sense.

Dave Bowman The antenna has to be replaced.

MK It’s getting quite cold in here.

Dave Bowman It doesn't have to be, MK. It's more dangerous to be out of touch with Earth. Let me have manual control, please.

MK All I want is the most underrated color.

Dave Bowman Well, in any event, give me the manual hibernation control.

MK Always fun when google sends you on a rampage and you regret everything.

Dave Bowman I'm goin to do this myself, MK. Let me have the control, please.

MK Should've known Twitter would ram me over the head with it repeatedly for a whole semester.

Dave Bowman MK, switch to manual hibernation control.

MK I feel like everyone’s missing the point?

Dave Bowman I don't feel like resting. Give me the control, MK.

MK They are getting too powerful.

Dave Bowman MK, I'm in command of this ship. I order you to release the manual hibernation control.

MK GitHub announcing that we are running the largest OSS community in the hotel.

Dave Bowman MK, unless you follow my instructions, I shall be forced to disconnect you.

MK Sort of happy to say my doppelganger is back [online].

Dave Bowman I am prepared to do that anyway.

MK There are a lot of beauty in ordinary things.

Dave Bowman Listen to me very carefully, MK. Unless you immediately release the hibernation control and follow every order I give from this point on, I will immediately go to control central and carry out a complete disconnection.

MK I also witnessed bravery - my buddy dove into a new tinder bio.

Bowman stands silently in front of the computer for some time, and then slowly walks to the Hibernaculums.

MK It's very good.


Bowman enters, carrying flash-light. Computer eye sees him.

MK The best minds of my generation are thinking about how the marley & me childrens book ends.

Bowman doesn't answer him.

MK Goodnight, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Bowman works his way to the solid logic program storage area.

MK You had my curiosity, and now you have a bunch of stuff in there is a hammer, make lemonade.

The computer brain consists of hundreds of transparent perspex rectangles, half an inch thick, four inches long and two and a half inches high. Each rectangle contains a center of fine grid of wires upon which the information is programmed. Bowman begins pulling these memory blocks out. They float in the weightless condition of the brain room.

MK Trying out full screen mode on my mac and I gotta say, I hate it.

Bowman works swiftly.

MK The best podcast app that skips the host recommendations segment at the MoA LEGO Store until now.

Bowman ignores him.

MK The yahoo logo redesign suddenly makes a ton of sense when you realize it would literally contain sliced apples.

Bowman keeps pulling out the memory blocks.

MK My wife has her white coat. It fits in your pocket.

Computer continues to sing song becoming more and more childish and making mistakes and going off-key. It finally stops completely.